Unhidden Talents!

November 10, 2017

Hola Bitcholas,

Who knows how much truth there is to this woman's statement, but there's a story circulating about an escort in Everett, Washington who put two bullets into a John's head. The reason she gave was that he was so bad at oral sex that she shot him.  Seriously. Again, don't know if that's true, but that's the reason she gave. Poor cunnilingus leads to murder? 

I'm not saying I'm fantastic at the oral arts (although I will ALWAYS make the effort) but I've never thought that I might be murdered for doing such a poor job. 

And if it's true that when you die you wander down the tunnel toward the light where all of your deceased loved ones are waiting for you, they've gotta look disappointed. That's no reason to die.

Ok, so on the topic of things that people are bad at, here's a list of the 8 simple things a 'surprising number of people can't do:

Blow bubbles with bubble gum...can do it.

Snap their fingers...can do it, but my mother can't. Then again, she doesn't have hands, so...

Wink (it always turns into a blink)...can do it.

Roll their R’s...I can do it, but to be fair, I believe it's hereditary.

Curl their tongue...I can do several odd things with my tongue, and no, I'm not making an oral sex joke, my tongue is just very flexible.

Whistle...can do it, but not cool.

Shuffle cards...I suck at it. I've always sucked at it. The worst part is that I f**king COLLECT cards! I have about 300 decks and can't shuffle one of them.

Touch their toes without bending their knees...can do it.

That's what I've got today.

Have a great weekend, you untalented bitches!!!

 

Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!