Your Parents Did WHAT?!

October 11, 2017

Hola Bitcholas,

"Family Week" has unintentionally continued to be the theme this week on the show. Yesterday, we asked about grandparents..."what's the story you always tell about them?" Same question today except we asked about your PARENTS.

Much different type of answer today. See, when people reflect on their grandparents, they seem to remember up tales of heroics, warmth, humor, tenderness and other 'cuddly' qualities...even if those same grandparents were overt racists or drunks. Somehow, grandparents get a pass.

But, again, that was yesterday. Today, talking about parents, yea, most of that cuddly sh*t was nonexistent.  

Here's a small sample of some of what we heard today:

"My dad…when I was in junior high I was banging my girlfriend and my dad burst into my bedroom…wearing a black and pink teddy… with the bottom half pulled up squishing his b's out the side."

(not sure how I would react...but I'm sure my future therapist would help me through it)

"My parents met in the 80's in Germany before the Berlin wall came down in an anti terrorist driving school."

(I've always heard that anti-terrorist training of any kind is a great way to meet the ladies...oh wait, no one has ever said that)

"They told all five of us where and when we were conceived."

(back to the therapist)

"My mom crop dusted Tony Ventrella at the Lobster Shop on my birthday. "

(disgusting, but I kinda like her)

"My MIL once made a burrito from wet cat food with worming medicine in it thinking it was refried beans."

(I have no idea how to respond to that)

"My dad poked a dead puffed up bloated cow with a sharp stick and it exploded."

(and then dad learned why you don't do that)

Those were just a few of the stories we got, but I think you get the idea. Just keep in mind though that a lot of these parents in the stories are now grandparents themselves and somehow, the GRANDkids will hear these same stories and think they're great. What I think we've learned is that to appreciate the weird and/or terrible things our families do, we just need a full generation in between.

I'm outta here.

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!