Run D and See!

November 20, 2017

Hola Bitcholas,

We covered a lot of territory on today's show, but 'sky penis' quickly became our focus.

What is 'sky penis'? 'Sky Penis' is the name we've given to the giant penis that graced the skies over rural Washington state. In case you didn't know, a NAVY flight crew was grounded after drawing a 'sky penis'. The pilot of the F-18 used the plane's vapor trail to trace a large dong in the clear blue skies over Whatcom (?) County. Witnesses said they thought it was funny. The NAVY brass didn't and doesn't share the bemusement. Hence, the crew is facing disciplinary action.

We understand that drawing penises isn't 'becoming conduct' for an officer and all that...but honestly, drawing penises, no matter how juvenile, adolescent, childish, immature, sophomoric or puerile as it may be, is just something that guys do. Guys draw penises from the moment we figure out that we can draw penises until the day we die...or can't draw penises. 

If we pee in the snow, draw an image on a dirty car or take a Sharpie to the forehead of an incapacitated friend, we draw a penis. I can't explain it, but it's an inescapable fact of life.

To put this in perspective, the engineers at NASA...f**king N A S A...DREW A PENIS ON THE SURFACE OF MARS!!!  Let that sink in. Among humanity's other celestial accomplishments...we drew a penis on another planet. Why? Because we could.  A drawn penis is humanity's calling card. NASA, by the way, says the crystal clear penis was an 'accident'. I call bullsh*t! BULLSH*T! When the engineers at NASA send commands to the Spirit rover (the guilty party in this case) these are exceptionally well thought out in advance. They don't 'accidentally' draw penises on alien words. Trust me. 

And the penis-drawing hits keep coming. 

Our very own Miles Montgomery is an avid runner. For no reason OTHER than he could, took the time to plot a penis-shaped route through the streets of Seattle...for the singular purpose of having his phone track his penis map. It's a three mile run, but he executed it and has the visual proof. Take a gander.

Like I said, it's just we do. 

That's what I have for you today, bitches.

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!